I just want to take Emma Watson to the Olive Garden.
Just was informed that my manager doesn’t mind if we have a few beers sitting behind the desk.
Walt Jr’s Crutches walked away with 100 bucks tonight at trivia.
|Customer:||Do you have a fiction section?|
|Me:||Sure, it covers that whole wall behind you.|
|Customer:||Okay, and where is your non-fiction section?|
|Me:||... everything else in the store?|
There’s free WiFi and live Irish music at this pub.
The gay Marxist Christians who come in every Saturday night just told me that I needed a “sugar mama.”
No, M’am. You’re right.
L. Ron Hubbard doesn’t belong in the cult section. He belongs in Self Help. Please move him there so that crazy people like you can find him with ease.
|6 year old girl in the store:||It's getting... getting pretty booky in here.|
Guys, I’m sorry. I just don’t have any desire to watch Mad Men.
Especially when Cyberchase is on Instant Watch.
So, I got one of them cracked ribs.
This has been a anightt of women.
I’d like to thanks our asponsors: alcohols.
I can’t fathom how I hadn’t seen the Avett Brothers live before tonight.